Yeah, okay. If you actually manage find a girl who is attracted to oversized flannel and constantly flailing limbs, just put a sock on the door and I'll leave you alone. A sock with batman's face on it, seeing as I doubt you own any other kind.
Also, that's not really any of your business? Why does it matter if I'm staying here?
[Gonna stop baiting a fight about sexual conquests with Derek Hale, no need to fight slash topple down this hill.]
You just said I can live with you if I don't want you living with me, so I wanted to know where me living with you would live versus you living with me here. Do you have cable? Or are we talking wolf den style in the woods, remnants of another creepy house kinda deal because I'll hard pass on that. But also like, dude. I'm pretty sure I know by now, of all times, how not to die. At least involuntarily.
I just don't want you knowing more about me than you need to know?
[ but ok, he does have cable. ]
I do have cable.
[ there, he's talked about his place. ]
You got lucky with Peter. You probably got lucky with all the other shit you've told me about, too. The Darach, the Kanima. But you're a child. Basically. Even if you weren't, everyone's luck runs out eventually. Sooner or later, you'll run into something you can't beat on your own. That's why I'm here.
I already know more about you than I need to know. That sounds ominous but really it's just kinda weird? #friendship
But okay, okay. You can stay. For a little while. But only if we have some mutually agreed upon rules or else I'm dousing everything in mistletoe and you're on the curb. Like no howling after 9PM and knocking. Knock? For the love of God, Derek. Please knock or otherwise announce your presence. It's what normal people do.
I'm going to do the opposite of everything you want me to do. At all times. Forever. Always. Always.
I wish you hadn't gotten involved in fighting the Alpha pack. That was my problem to deal with. Though - there are some things about that whole time in your life that I'd like to know about. Cora reappeared around the time Deucalion did, right? What was she like? Other than "angry". She was always pretty angry.
Also, Just so you know, I can detect chemosignals? I can smell fear. Nice try, though, I guess.
More reasons we shouldn't be roommates: you're gonna smell a lot of things and they won't all be fear related.
But, yeah. Cora. Pretty angry, also just pretty. But in an angry way? Pretty angry. Angry pretty. Even balance of both. Plus that scowl. That scowl you're probably making rn because I just called your sister pretty? Yeah, that one. Only it's scarier on her.
I'll kill you. I'll literally kill you. If you do anything in your bedroom that warrants killing, I'll do it. Forget everything I said about keeping you safe. I will kill you. Do you understand me? Death comes in the form of Derek Hale.
[ he's typing "don't call my sister pretty" when he reads the rest of stiles' message. now he feels like he can't say what he wants to say without playing into this piece of shit's hands. he decides that the blow to his pride is worth it. ]
[ he laughs. wait, that's bad, stiles shouldn't make him laugh. it's stiles. ]
He can heal. We should break his jaw so his chin realigns itself. Tie a splint to his cheek so it mends the right way.
Listen, This whole living situation is going to be shitty for both of us, but I'm not going to feel right just leaving you to deal with adjusting on your own. You can kick me out in a few weeks, if I don't end up ragequitting before then. Okay?
Won't it just heal back crooked, regardless of what he does since that's how it was when he got bit? Like the whole tattoo thing - maybe he just needs to scorch it, too. Interesting.
[Totally got distracted typing that, pauses to recollect.]
Yeah, deal. It's okay, I don't have any other friends here right now either. We can be roomies. Friday's movie night and you cook on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I don't make those rules.
No some scary dude gave him a tattoo and when it went bye bye bye, you did break out the blowtorch. Thank GOD it wasn't her name, I feel like if I hadn't have been there it could've been. It would've been, who am I kidding. Instead it was uh. Bands? Lines. He. He picked lines. Around his bicep. Two lines.
[At least three would've made mantra sense but whatever, whatever. Whatever, Scott?]
No no no no, no skipping out on Movie Night?! I'm Scott-less and Father-less and listen, Derek. You have to step up and be a lot of things for me, in this desperate and lonely, unprotected, sad, miserable period of adjustment for me. That involves watching the Notebook? Who else am I going to cry on??
Lines? Two? I could have understood three. Three would've made sense. We have these mantras - counting threes is sort of... our... lines? Two lines. Two lines. You just let it happen? You just let him get two lines. I thought you were his friend.
[ whatever, scott, enjoy your mantra-sense-less bullshit arm bands. derek moves on. ]
He still went with two. Two. Two??? Also, I kinda passed out for most of that. It's not my fault needles make me squeamish. Where were you, anyway? Huh? Huh? You don't know, do you. That's right. You literally do not know.
[ as a gesture of good will, he doesn't comment on the needl-- ]
Needles make you squeamish. You're the sheriff's son. You and Scott only got caught up in this whole Werewolf thing because you wanted to catch a glimpse of Laura's dead body. You fought a Kanima. Needles should be smalltime, you big baby.
I'm not watching The Notebook with you. It's bro comedies, something surreal and confusing we have to focus on too much to talk to each other, black and white horror movies or nothing.
PHOBIAS ARE PHOBIAS, DEREK. They're legit? Just like you can't help scaring cats up trees, I can't help feeling... lightheaded sometimes when things are spooky or bloody or a little too real. It's how I am. Accept me. Love me. It's totally normal and even men faint? Men faint all the time.
I know a really trippy anime movie that rings some of those bells, though. It's probably called Imperfect Cerulean here, or something stupid. Otherwise I'm fine for old school bird attacks and Bates Motelisms.
I do like the hard crunch of human bone. But. Okay. I'll... pick those up?
[ he wonders if he should offer to, like - invite people, or something, over the first few movie nights, but he remembers rather quickly he doesn't have any friends. he has one, but he's possessive and wants to keep tate to himself, so. wow, okay. guess he really will be stuck watching a movie with stiles. ]
If Scott does show up, no telling him we did this.
100% between us, we can pinky swear on it if it makes you feel better.
Y'know I went through the network and a bunch of names from home have been here before, but most of 'em far back. Allison, Scott, Lydia - even... well, even me? That's weird and creepy and I don't know how I feel about it. I didn't go through them too in depth because of the heebie jeebies but I might, just to see if by any chance anyone happened to be farther along than I am in a timeline. If that's possible to tell.
I've been here before, too. I haven't gone through the archives - I've never had a reason to. But they're all there, just waiting to be looked through. I don't know if it's something I want to do. Seeing relationships I built with people I don't remember, seeing feelings I had that aren't in me anymore. It's hard enough dealing with the things I'm already dealing with without adding existential identity issues on top of it.
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A sock with batman's face on it, seeing as I doubt you own any other kind.
Also, that's not really any of your business? Why does it matter if I'm staying here?
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[Gonna stop baiting a fight about sexual conquests with Derek Hale, no need to fight slash topple down this hill.]
You just said I can live with you if I don't want you living with me, so I wanted to know where me living with you would live versus you living with me here. Do you have cable? Or are we talking wolf den style in the woods, remnants of another creepy house kinda deal because I'll hard pass on that. But also like, dude. I'm pretty sure I know by now, of all times, how not to die. At least involuntarily.
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[ but ok, he does have cable. ]
I do have cable.
[ there, he's talked about his place. ]
You got lucky with Peter. You probably got lucky with all the other shit you've told me about, too. The Darach, the Kanima.
But you're a child. Basically. Even if you weren't, everyone's luck runs out eventually.
Sooner or later, you'll run into something you can't beat on your own. That's why I'm here.
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But okay, okay. You can stay. For a little while. But only if we have some mutually agreed upon rules or else I'm dousing everything in mistletoe and you're on the curb. Like no howling after 9PM and knocking. Knock? For the love of God, Derek. Please knock or otherwise announce your presence. It's what normal people do.
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[ he's acting out because stiles said they're friends again. he never agreed to that. ]
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Your alpha thing doesn't scare me after a whole fight-the-alpha-pack plot arc of my life. I know you have a half decent pedicure. You don't scare me?
[#lies]
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Always.
I wish you hadn't gotten involved in fighting the Alpha pack. That was my problem to deal with.
Though - there are some things about that whole time in your life that I'd like to know about.
Cora reappeared around the time Deucalion did, right?
What was she like? Other than "angry". She was always pretty angry.
Also,
Just so you know, I can detect chemosignals? I can smell fear.
Nice try, though, I guess.
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But, yeah. Cora. Pretty angry, also just pretty. But in an angry way?
Pretty angry. Angry pretty. Even balance of both. Plus that scowl.
That scowl you're probably making rn because I just called your sister pretty?
Yeah, that one. Only it's scarier on her.
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Forget everything I said about keeping you safe. I will kill you. Do you understand me?
Death comes in the form of Derek Hale.
[ he's typing "don't call my sister pretty" when he reads the rest of stiles' message. now he feels like he can't say what he wants to say without playing into this piece of shit's hands. he decides that the blow to his pride is worth it. ]
Don't call my sister pretty.
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You're pretty too, Derek. The prettiest werewolf around. Hands down.
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Wow, thank you. Even prettier than Scott?
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He can heal. We should break his jaw so his chin realigns itself. Tie a splint to his cheek so it mends the right way.
Listen,
This whole living situation is going to be shitty for both of us, but I'm not going to feel right just leaving you to deal with adjusting on your own.
You can kick me out in a few weeks, if I don't end up ragequitting before then.
Okay?
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[Totally got distracted typing that, pauses to recollect.]
Yeah, deal. It's okay, I don't have any other friends here right now either. We can be roomies.
Friday's movie night and you cook on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I don't make those rules.
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[ ... ]
Wait, Scott has a tattoo? Who told him how to stop it from healing over? Me?
Did I give Scott a tattoo? I swear to god, if it was Allison's name...
But yeah, okay. I can do that. I'll cook.
Definitely skipping out on movie night, but the rest is fine.
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[At least three would've made mantra sense but whatever, whatever. Whatever, Scott?]
No no no no, no skipping out on Movie Night?! I'm Scott-less and Father-less and listen, Derek. You have to step up and be a lot of things for me, in this desperate and lonely, unprotected, sad, miserable period of adjustment for me. That involves watching the Notebook? Who else am I going to cry on??
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I could have understood three. Three would've made sense. We have these mantras - counting threes is sort of... our... lines? Two lines.
Two lines.
You just let it happen? You just let him get two lines.
I thought you were his friend.
[ whatever, scott, enjoy your mantra-sense-less bullshit arm bands. derek moves on. ]
They don't have The Notebook in this universe.
[ they absolutely do. ]
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Alpha, Beta, Omega. Beginning, Middle, End. Eeny, meany, min- wait no that's four.
He still went with two. Two. Two??? Also, I kinda passed out for most of that. It's not my fault needles make me squeamish. Where were you, anyway? Huh? Huh? You don't know, do you. That's right. You literally do not know.
[Stupid Scott.]
What's it called then? The Notepad?
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[ as a gesture of good will, he doesn't comment on the needl-- ]
Needles make you squeamish.
You're the sheriff's son. You and Scott only got caught up in this whole Werewolf thing because you wanted to catch a glimpse of Laura's dead body. You fought a Kanima.
Needles should be smalltime, you big baby.
I'm not watching The Notebook with you.
It's bro comedies, something surreal and confusing we have to focus on too much to talk to each other, black and white horror movies or nothing.
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I know a really trippy anime movie that rings some of those bells, though. It's probably called Imperfect Cerulean here, or something stupid. Otherwise I'm fine for old school bird attacks and Bates Motelisms.
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You'd make a terrible werewolf.
Make a list. We'll go through all of them.
Apparently this is just my life now.
What about
[ deep breath, measures his temper. why is this his life. this is stupid. why is he even asking this question ]
snacks? I don't know what you eat.
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I like pretzels and bbq chips. I'm guessing you're into beef jerky and the bones of your enemies?
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But.
Okay. I'll... pick those up?
[ he wonders if he should offer to, like - invite people, or something, over the first few movie nights, but he remembers rather quickly he doesn't have any friends. he has one, but he's possessive and wants to keep tate to himself, so. wow, okay. guess he really will be stuck watching a movie with stiles. ]
If Scott does show up, no telling him we did this.
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Y'know I went through the network and a bunch of names from home have been here before, but most of 'em far back. Allison, Scott, Lydia - even... well, even me? That's weird and creepy and I don't know how I feel about it. I didn't go through them too in depth because of the heebie jeebies but I might, just to see if by any chance anyone happened to be farther along than I am in a timeline. If that's possible to tell.
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I've been here before, too.
I haven't gone through the archives - I've never had a reason to. But they're all there, just waiting to be looked through.
I don't know if it's something I want to do. Seeing relationships I built with people I don't remember, seeing feelings I had that aren't in me anymore.
It's hard enough dealing with the things I'm already dealing with without adding existential identity issues on top of it.
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